Final hours

Good morning internet,

I was going to post last night but got sidetracked by feeling sickly and sleeping instead. I realized after I posted yesterday that I forgot to mention one of the highlights from the night before. Brynne and I, after eating until we couldn't eat anymore at Maison and then spending the next few hours drinking, came back to Bourbon Street and got 2 pieces of pizza, inhaled them, and talked about how badly we wished we had a whole pizza. We then beelined for a hot dog stand and got two hot dogs with everything on them, ate them on the way back to the hotel (which was only a half block away), and were done before we even entered our room. #fatkids4lyfe.

Yesterday was a fabulous day. We stopped at Cafe Du Monde and feasted upon beignets, definitely a good way to wake up. We then went to the Market and some little shops to fulfill the mandatory "buying little things for people we really like or feel like we have to buy things for people we don't like as much" part of vacation. If you get something let's hope you fall in the former category-and if we didn't get you anything it means we like you a lot, we're just broke. Or we hate you. We ran into the couple that I fell in love with from the night before, and their friend Hank, and they gave us recommendations for dinner at a restaurant that has a private club in the back (clothing optional).

Beignets and coffee at Cafe Du Monde

The Mighty Mississippi

I would like to mention that I'm listening to a song called "212" by Azealia Banks and it is both horrible and fantastic at the same time. If you're interesting in feeling that way about a song you should listen to it. TELL ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL ABOUT THIS SONG BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.

So we shopped, and learned some things about witchcraft, and it was awesome. We started drinking at the diviest little place that was pitch black with smoke everywhere and filled with chipped toothed people dressed in all black. This is where we learned about the severe weather that will be occurring today ALONG OUR ENTIRE ROUTE OF TRAVEL. We knew there were going to be storms here, but I haven't been watching the weather channel as much as I do in my normal life, so we were unprepared for the seriousness of this storm! Wildness.

We stopped in at Coop's for lunch, based on a recommendation from our friend John (who may be the biggest fan of this blog), and it was the greatest. I had seafood gumbo and Brynne had a duck quesadilla. We both got sides of coleslaw, which hands down is the best coleslaw I've ever had. Everything was perfect. We got drinks to go, and stumbled into another bar a short while later when we had to use a bathroom. Got some more to go there after chatting with the bartender (she's afraid of airplanes and bought her son a cool Spiderman backpack for $20 at an outlet store while on vacation in Florida). We then came back to the hotel and passed out. Got up and got ready, both feeling kind of horrendous, but went to get dinner around 10 at some cute little place that had wilted lettuce and slimy cucumbers on their salads but delicious cajun chicken and fried oysters on them as well. We both weren't feeling so hot and were really tired so we came back and went to bed early.

Lunch at Coop's.

I'm trying to decide if I should get ready and head back down to the Market to get Brynne a frozen coffee treat (and me too) before we journey into the severe weather abyss. I think I may, if it isn't pouring rain yet.

With much regret, we have to leave the city of our dreams today. While my hair and my body will appreciate me for entering a world of less eating, drinking, and humidity, it is with a heavy heart and 20 extra pounds of body fat that we pile into our Kia Rio nugget and head north. New Orleans, you've been good to us. Thank you.

Hopefully I will be able to post a blog later in Knoxville,as long as we are not swept up in a flash flood or a tornado. Stay safe world.

-Katherine

Swampz.

Being alive feels good.

Things I learned yesterday: alligator tastes good. information about Lousiana's invasive species.

When I started writing this I thought I would have a whole list going on no problem, but I can't think...(though it could be the hanger I have right now). Whatever. I learned a lot.

We went to the Old Coffee Pot for breakfast, which was bangarang. And then drove out to LaPlace, LA, to see this!

How pretty is that shizz! Words cannot describe how effing happy we are that we did a swamp tour. In a perfect world, I would have a friend here who owns an airboat. Unfortunately none of my friends are cool enough to live that life, so I bought a groupon for a swamp tour instead. THE BEST! In addition to learning a lot about Cajun history and swamp ecology, we also got to see tons of animals! Cajun Pride Tours RULZ. Here's some pics.

Then we did something so totally mind blowing I still can't believe it is reality....I BOUGHT AN IPHONE! facetime me.

We came back to the hotel and lazed around a bit, got ready for the world, and had a drink. Brynne's been getting these bloody mary's from the bar downstairs and OH MY GOD they are incredible. I might go get one right now (its 8:30 am...already showered, time to drink).

We went to Frenchman Street for food and music, which we got, and it was all lovely. We had dinner at Maison where we dined on alligator bites, jambalaya with alligator sausage (effing amazing), and BBQ pulled pork with slaw. Brynne had a fabulous drink which involved peach & ginger infused vodka. No hanger here! Music was good, everything was good. It was a very enjoyable experience.

We then went to the Spotted Cat where we met some wonderful people, my favorites being a 50-something Louisiana couple who looked so in love and I told the woman how adorable her and her man were and she said "Oh thanks, we just met 7 months ago...I'm so lucky" and had so much love in her face while her man whirled Brynne around dancing like a professional. I think I fell in love with them...SO MUCH LOVE. They were with their friend Hank from Amsterdam who had some equally awesome dance moves and an even better accent. Talking to them I learned a lot about canal boats, and Louisiana things. My next favorite person was a striped shirted man who stared at me and Brynne nonstop (eyes darting back and forth like...do I like the Amazon blonde, or the petite brunette?) and eventually took a stool and sat down directly behind us in the creepiest way possible (we moved). I found this in the bathroom.

So we had a great night. Had some quality girl talk, which Brynne and I are usually pretty good for. Listened to beautiful music. We truly love this place. It is wonderful! I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE IN ME RIGHT NOW. ITS TOO MUCH.

Here I am holding an alligator.

Anyways, I'm going to attach my headlamp to my head and start getting ready for the world. Get a coffee, or maybe a Mary while I wait for Brynne to arise. Our last full day in New Orleans...

Happy payday people. Go buy yourself something nice, or, better yet, buy me something nice.

-Katherine

Appalachia, humidity, and our final destination.

Hello friends.

I hope this blog post finds you well.
It's been awhile, and with good reason. We'll get there. I want to write about so many things, but don't want to have a TLDR blog, so I'm probably going to leave out a lot of things...if you have any questions, feel free to ask! I'm available by internet only. I'm going to start where I left off-in Jessup, Maryland. Here is Brynne, somewhere in Maryland, about to chow down on some fruit.

This was....Sunday morning. We left Adunola's and drove 9-ish hours to Louisville, Kentucky. Along the way, we saw lots of western Maryland, lots of West Virginia, and lots of Kentucky. It all looks the same. We counted roadkill throughout West Virginia. Here is what the list looks like.

We arrived in Louisville around 7:30 and found Nick! We toured his house, which is perfect, and then went to a bar to enjoy delicious burgers and beer. Nick was very hospitable and perfect (as always), and it was great to see him (if only for a short amount of time). He assured Brynne that she does NOT look 30, taught us how to properly say Louisville- Loo (English bathroom)-UH (not AH)-Vull (Pull with a V), and I scratched one of his records because I'm an idiot and don't know how records work. Can't work an ipod, can't work a record player. Tapes have always confused me too-rewinding is so hard. CDs for life baby!

Here is what me and Nick look like

We left early the next day and were able to drive around the University of Louisville because I had to detour around a road...nice campus; I love big southern schools. In a past life I believe I was a Sorority Queen at a huge old southern university winning relay races and working kissing booths for charity. I just made that up, past lives don't exist.

And thus, we entered our third and final day of driving before arriving in New Orleans. It was a great day of travel; we left early, I broke a shot glass at a truck stop (made me frantic, I thought I would get all the shot glasses of all the states we went through for Brynne, but then I broke Massachusetts...glass everywhere), ate donuts, drove through Kentucky, Alabama, and Mississippi. At one point I fell asleep and got cranky when Brynne woke me up (KATH!) and it was fucking HOT and I was sweating. Worst. So we went to Sonic for happy hour (oh lemonberry slush how I missed you), and found our way to New Orleans, Louisiana. Here is a much uglier sunset than New Jersey and a fine photo of us with slush.

What a great city. The creepiest of creeps and the nicest of nice. Love, love, love this place. How have I not been here before?? There's no rules! You can do whatever you want! ANARCHY!

We hopped around different places Monday night eating, listening to wonderful music, and meeting people. I'm pretty certain there is a female version of Si from Duck Dynasty, and she blew out my eardrums talking directly into my ear for 20 minutes. She was also dangerously close to lighting us on fire. I may or may not have ridden a mechanical bull. Brynne played tambourine with a band. I drank too much and acted like an idiot in the worst of ways. I am going to leave the gory details out, but lets just say Brynne is a really good friend and I'm lucky to have her. I put her through 4 or 5 hours of Hell I would say, and I would just like to announce to the public that binge drinking is bad, and you should be nice to the people you love. Also I placed my phone in a cup of liquid and no longer have that...so.....

Upon awakening yesterday morning, I promptly felt like death, emotionally and physically, which continued most of the day. Brynne and I went to jazz brunch at the Court of Two Sisters, which was absolutely perfect in every way. This place was amazing; the food was good (what I could stomach anyways....would've rather been there when I wasn't so hungover), the band was good, and the courtyard seating was beautiful. #worthit #turtlesoup

Here is Brynne.

We then took a nap, and upon awakening that time, waltzed around the French Quarter and had a little food, window-looked at art galleries. This guy Peter O'Neill, I was into it. We stayed a couple hours at Preservation Hall and it was beautiful in every possible way, and then went to Pat O'Brien's for their 80th birthday celebration. We were pretty exhausted still from the antics of Monday night, so we channeled my dad and drank a few miller lites and watched the dueling pianos where we fell in love with a man that I like to call Metal Fingers. He plays a tray with metal fingers (direct quote from man next to us "That's some shit you learn on the streets!"), and he reminded us both of Robin Williams (more "Jack" not "Good Will Hunting"). I will upload a picture of him later. He is perfect. We also got a couple new nicknames yesterday, Yum-Yum and Delicious. I keep trying to casually call Brynne Yum-Yum, but it just sounds so strange, I don't even know how the guy got that word out of his mouth in a serious manner.

So we went to bed fairly early and now I'm up at 7 am, writing this and going to attempt to do homework while sitting on our beautiful balcony and drinking hotel coffee. Today, we swamp tour.

Be good to the world.

-Katherine

The New Jersey Turnpike.

Paul Walker died.

Now that I got that out of the way, I'll get started on the important stuff.

Brynne and I have decided that the New Jersey Turnpike is the ultimate least desirable road to travel on of all time. My words, not hers, but I'm sure that she would concur. I would like the readers to know that I hate the highway, not the state. I haven't spent enough time outside of the turnpike to pass a clear judgement on the rest of Jersey. But I was certainly stating that I hated New Jersey multiple times while driving through it.

Maybe it was the day, maybe it wasn't as bad the last time I drove it, but seriously, its fucking gross. After waiting for 20 minutes to get to the ticket window at the toll booth, Brynne had to get out of the car to take her ticket. People beeping at each other everywhere when no one has moved for 20 minutes. 18 wheelers cutting across 3 lines of traffic to get into a "faster" moving line. LIKE WHAT! And that's just the toll.

Let's talk about the rest stops.
I'm a fan of rest stops. I enjoy them. I don't hate public bathrooms, and I like to grab a coffee and look at weird people before I continue on my way.
We stopped at 3 rest stops on the way down the glorious state of New Jersey, and they were all absolutely disgusting. Yes, there was a lot of traffic on the highway yesterday. Obviously there was going to be a lot of people. But I'm talking PEOPLE WERE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING THERE. And the amount of urine on the toilet seats was outstanding. Ladies, wipe that shit up, its nasty.

We were in traffic most of the way from NY to MD. It took us a long time to get to Jessup, but I was able to take some photographs of the scenery. I call this series "Sunset in New Jersey"

"Industrial Sunset"

"Sunset Through the Overpass"

"Plane in the Sunset"

"Another Plane in the Sunset"

"American Beauty...Sunset in New Jersey"

Other photographs from this series are available upon request. They are all for sale.

So traffic turned our 7 hour jaunt from Brockton to Jessup into an 11 hour day, but its all good. We arrived unscathed, after a few close calls. Brynne may or may not have started to drive the car as I was halfway inside of it, which was a little silly. Trying to get back to the highway after visiting those lovely rest stops was a production...with people from all eastern states trying to ram each other's cars. Way too many angry people on the road. We tried to have good karma and let people go, but they're all selfish pricks. Screw trying to be nice. Today, we are bitches.

So we get to Adunola's apartment complex and I call her...her phone is dead. I called her every minute for the next 20 minutes and sent her texts. Finally her sister calls me and says Adunola is in the SHOWER and she had been BAKING CUPCAKES. I started stressing because Brynne was really hungry though...she calls it "hangry," where she is both hungry and angry. She had lusted after a JBC at our final rest stop somewhere in Maryland, but at that point we only had an hour to go so I decided we were going to wait to get dinner in Jessup. Then we were in traffic, and one hour turned into 2. Brynne was silent, I felt bad. So anyways, we ate dinner around 10:45 or so. It was Mexican, it was good. Ad bought a pitcher of margaritas, it was good. We came back and went to bed, that was good too. Now I am waiting for Brynne to get out of the shower so we can continue our journey into Kentucky to see my social media husband, Nick.

HAPPY DECEMBER!!!!! And happy birthday to one of my greatest friends in the world, Philly!

Safe travels world. Enjoy your Sunday.

-Katherine

Anxiety...

It's 12:09 am. I woke up about 30 minutes ago, literally flailing around in my bed like Moby Dick. I have so many thoughts in my brain that I pushed into the back of my head because of Thanksgiving (which was great by the way, I think I ate more brussel sprouts than anyone ever has in one sitting), and in my dream world they all announced themselves as my primary concern.

WOOF.

I don't know when we are leaving, haven't worked out details with my friends we are staying with (which is fine but I need to remember to contact them instead of showing up on their steps like 2 poorly dressed sinning Mormons, or good looking crack addicts selling magazine subscriptions), have no idea what to pack, realized in Dream World that tomorrow is Black Friday and any time I try to buy things is going to be Hell for me, I only have one pair of jeans (PROBLEM), and I have to work tomorrow...today (2 jobs, 2 cities, 7 hours).

What the fuck am I going to wear when my jeans get frumpy after 2 or 3 days? I refuse to do laundry on this trip!!!! Maybe.

So I decided to organize my thoughts, and I figured I should do it in blog form. Why not? I have a blog now. I can publicly write whatever I want.

After I wrote that last line, my computer died, so I went downstairs to get the cord, ate a brussel sprout, took a sip of egg nog straight out of the carton, and then looked at facebook for 10 minutes, reading about all the things people are thankful for and how fat they are now.

Whatever.

Here are my thoughts.

1. Start packing now, hopefully anxiety will decrease. Consult 2 page list of ideas of things to pack. Highlights include: headlamp, febreeze, and vodka nips.

2. Do a giant load of laundry.

3. Try on all the clothes I own. This is both practical and fun. I have one pair of jeans that actually fits, and I am glad I discovered this today instead of being under the illusion of owning multiple pairs of jeans that fit. I started this earlier, and then things got crazy when I started walking around wearing dresses like I would actually wear one to a non-formal event. Never. It was helpful, however, in finding out how many clothes I could wear at this time last year, but couldn't wear publicly now if I was paid.

4. Contact Brynne (probably in the morning) and discuss plans. Where are we picking up the rental car? What time are we leaving? Things like that...minor details.

5. Ask Carol again if she will drive me to the rental place (which is at an unknown location in Brockton). Last time she said, "Oh. Ick. Will I get lost??" If she does, I'm pulling a Scott for Christmas and getting her a Tom-Tom. Because once lost, always lost.

For every person who is wondering, a few years ago, while cruising around hungover in my Buick Century, I got lost in New Hampshire for 4 hours trying to get from Plymouth to Sunapee, and didn't have cell service most of the time. I stopped more times than I can count to ask for directions at weird little gas stations and country stores, but I could never find the highway. My windshield wipers and fluid didn't work and I had to keep getting out and wiping down the windshield when it got too dirty. Somehow, I made it, and upon arrival, I was able to snowboard for appx. 3 hours(1/2 day ticket!!) and was made fun of relentlessly for getting lost. Upon departure from Sunapee, my Dad gave me $60, told me to square away the windshield situation, and later bought me a GPS for my birthday. I am happy to say I promptly spent the $60 on alcohol (because that's what it was really for), and I still use the GPS today. It rarely steers me wrong. Thanks Dad!

6. Contact Adunola and Nick and make sure we are still on for Saturday and Sunday nights, and how to get to their residences. Jessup, MD and Louisville, KY here we come! Whether you are expecting us or not.

7. Buy these things from a store: TRAIL MIX. BREAD. TURKEY. SELTZER WATER. REGULAR WATER IN GIANT GALLON SIZE. CHEESE. CRACKERS. GRANOLA BARS. APPLES.

8. Figure out how to make mix CDs on a laptop that doesn't have a Disc drive-what was I thinking? I can't figure out how to work a Classic ipod. I'm a CDs for life kind of gal.

9. Go to the bank, and transfer money, because otherwise I will be back here in one day.

10. Do homework. This is something I struggle with daily. I have a lot to do, and I know I probably won't do it, until 2 weeks from now when everything will be due. Sadly, if I don't turn in anything, I will probably still pass the class.



OK, I think I have rambled quite enough. I am going to get started on my list. While listening to "Texas and Tennessee" by Lucero on repeat.

Hope everyone is sleeping soundly out there in the world. I feel like I just consumed 12 cups of hyper-caf coffee from Cumby's.

I wish all of you a stress-free, fun filled Black Friday. Tomorrow, we drive.

-Katherine

Thanksgiving.

Hello internet world of friends,

I've decided to have a blog for this trip. I hope you enjoy all of my ranting and raving posts as Brynne and I travel from the glorious city of Brockton, Massachusetts to New Orleans, Louisiana. It is a short trip in the grand scheme of things, but will be a marvelous adventure for us both, as we cross state lines to celebrate Brynne's journey into true adulthood, as she reaches 30 years of age.

This being said, I will note that Brynne publicly announced last night that a 19 year old boy told her that she is the "best looking older woman in the club."

So, hopefully this blog will be a good source of documentation of our birthday-celebration road trip, and will live on in the internet world for us to forget about and re-visit when I turn 30(4.5 years after Brynne). At least someone still has their youth...but Brynne's got the potential to be the newest cougar on the block. Look out world, the hottest older woman in the club is about to travel.

Being Thanksgiving and all, I would like to state that I am thankful for having good looking older friends. I am also thankful that we still have our licenses and car insurance.

Here we are with some of our friends in Southie last year-Giant Road Cone and Scooby Doo.

Happy eating, living, and drinking.


-Katherine